3. Listening Without Fixing: Leading with Your Ears, Not Your Ego

We’re trained—in work, in life, in leadership—to respond.

To solve.

To offer something back when someone shares something hard.

But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is just… listen.

Listening without fixing is the practice of being fully present with someone’s truth without trying to patch it, smooth it over, or make it easier to hear.

It’s not silence.

It’s active presence.

And it’s hard.

Because it requires us to sit in discomfort.

To notice the urge to solve—and not act on it.

To resist turning someone else’s story into a lesson or a detour.

But this is where trust begins.

When someone feels heard without being managed, they start to feel safe enough to go deeper.

Try This: The Pause Practice

The next time someone shares something hard—a frustration, a fear, a feeling—try this:

1. Pause before you respond.

2. Say something like: “Thank you for sharing that.” or “That sounds hard.”

3. Breathe. Notice if you want to offer advice, reassurance, or a solution. Then choose not to.

You don’t need the perfect words. Just your presence.

Reflection Questions:

• When do I feel the urge to fix?

• What message was I taught about silence or stillness?

• What changes in me when I feel truly heard?

Listening without fixing is not passive.

It’s a form of leadership that honors the other person’s wisdom and process.

It says: I believe you can hold this, and I’m here with you while you do.

Next up: Making Room for Messy Stuff.